How to Get a Boyfriend in College
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The first and most critical step to finding a relationship in college is choosing a guy who’s capable of and interested in having one. Avoid wasting time, emotional energy (and a number!) on guys who are not relationship material.
Take this quiz and see where you should be investing your effort.
- You see him walking around campus in a t-shirt. Printed on the chest is:
- Greek letters (-2 points)
- Varsity __________ (-1 point)
- The name of a band from the 80s, e.g. The Smiths (+1 point)
- A political cause or slogan (+2 points)
- He eats lunch with:
- A roving band of marauders (-2 points)
- One particular girl (-1 point)
- A couple of guys (+1 point)
- It varies – sometimes alone, sometimes with a friend or two, sometimes he joins a group (+2 points)
- Where you met:
- At a frat party (-2 points)
- He approached you randomly (-1 point)
- In class (+1 point)
- Freshman Orientation (+2 points)
- His class year:
- Senior (-2 points)
- Junior (-1 point)
- Sophomore (+1 point)
- Freshman (+2 points)
- What month is it?
- April (-2 points)
- September (-1 point)
- November (+1 point)
- February (+2 points)
- You’ve seen him at the library:
- Never (-2 points)
- During finals (-1 point)
- Every time you’re there (+1 point)
- Occasionally (+2 points)
- He plays a college sport:
- Football, Lacrosse, Basketball (-2 points)
- Division 1 anything (-1 point)
- Co-ed club sport (+1 point)
- Track, Crew, Tennis (+2 points)
- Number of alcoholic drinks he consumes per weekend:
- 15-30 (-2 points)
- 10-14 (-1 point)
- 0-4 (+1 point)
- 5-9 (+2 points)
- When you make eye contact and smile, he:
- Smirks (-2 points)
- Looks bored (-1 point)
- Comes running over (+1 point)
- Holds eye contact, smiles back, and nods (+2 points)
- In a group setting he:
- Mostly ignores you until late in the evening (-2 points)
- Says Be Right Back 3 or more times (-1 point)
- Stays by your side (+1 point)
- Socializes among a group of his friends and yours (+2 points)
- He suggests hanging out:
- In his room, now (-2 points)
- By meeting up when you’re out next weekend (-1 point)
- At a specific event (+1 point)
- During the daytime (+2 points)
- He expresses his attraction to you by saying:
- “You can suck my dick if you want.” (-2 points)
- “Do you want to be my girlfriend?” (-1 point)
- “I’m really attracted to you.” (+1 point)
- Doesn’t say anything, but actions send a clear message. (+2 points)
- His first attempt at physical contact is:
- Grinding on you from behind (-2 points)
- Spontaneous makeout session (-1 point)
- Goodnight kiss (+1 point)
- Hand holding (+2 points)
- His attitude about relationships:
- Just wants to have fun (-2 points)
- Just got out of one (-1 point)
- Wants one (+1 point)
- Would commit to the right girl (+2 points)
- Long-term career goals:
- That’s not why he’s at college (-2 points)
- Be on stage (-1 point)
- Brain intensive and in high demand, e.g. Technology, Finance, MD, etc. (+1 point)
- Entrepreneur (+2 points)
Total Points:
-30 to -15: You’re addicted to douchebags. Good luck with that.
-15 to 0: He’s ambivalent at best. The long-term forecast is not favorable.
0-15: He’s a good guy who has healthy relationships and would consider dating you. Let him know you’re interested.
15-30: He’s a catch. Grab on and don’t let go – Hard to Get is a poor strategy.