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For the fast track version of this article, jump to the conclusion.
The information circulating the success with women community is literally pure gold. If you truly wanted to, you can change your life by applying this information into your life. Having your dream girlfriend, being that charismatic version of yourself, living the life you’ve always dreamed of, you can have all of that. As simple as this sounds, just follow the friggin’ directions laid out for you and you will eventually find success.
Thirty years ago, if you sucked with women chances are there was nothing you could do about it since there was little to no resources available that covered this topic. It was a pretty hopeless time to live in. These days, you have every resource in the world to get your women problems solved. With all the killer eBooks, audio and video programs, seduction forums and even in-field bootcamps, you have no reason in the world not to succeed with women.
Yet a strange fact is most guys that study this stuff don’t actually get good. In fact, I would even go as far as to say that 90% of the guys that come into this community fail. I’ve met some guys who’ve been studying how to get women for over a decade and still don’t have a girlfriend. Yikes!
In my experience, it all comes down to a lack of consistent action. Not going out on a regular basis and interacting with enough women is why most guys fail at this. They’ll read a dating eBook, get all excited, go out hard for a month or two, then eventually fall of the wagon. If they only kept at it for a little longer, their woman problems would have been handled.
The greatest success secret in this game is making it an ingrained habit to #1. Go out regularly and #2. Approach a few women when you’re out. THAT’S IT. All you have to do is get to the point where doing those 2 things are as automatic as brushing your teeth at night. Once this happens all the glory shall be bestowed upon you. Sticking points become worked out, your personality begins to develop, self confidence begins to grow… All these things naturally happen when you’re in the field. Plain and simple, you become a pimp whether you like it or not.
So the most important goal is developing this habit. Don’t worry about attraction routines, jealous plotlines, cold reading techniques or any of this nonsense. Those are just petty details… The habit of going out and approaching women is the meat and bones of your success.
Enter the 100 Day Challenge…
The 100 Day Challenge
When I was first learning this stuff, I would go out in waves. I’d go out hard for a month or two, then take a few months off. Then I would go out again for another month or two and again I would back off. Nothing happened during this period of my life. I wasn’t getting numbers, not going on dates and most importantly wasn’t getting laid.
Right when I saw a bit of success, I’d drop off and stop going out. When I eventually started back up again, it felt like I was starting from scratch. It was incredibly frustrating.
I eventually got so fed up with this cycle that I gave myself a challenge to go out for 100 straight nights. It wasn’t easy, in fact in the beginning it was one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done. But I can tell you with absolute sincerity that I came out of the 100 days a changed man…
I became a more confident, funnier and more outgoing version of myself. In the field, my game got to the point where it was air tight. Don’t get me wrong, I still had slew of sticking points to get through, but I was amazed with the progress I made. I went from being dateless on day 1 to seeing a few women at once by day 100. Not only that, my relationships with my family and friends improved, I was more assertive at the workplace and I generally felt happier than I’ve been in years. This all happened by going out 100 consecutive nights in a row.
In my experience, it takes about 3 months of consistent action to get a habit truly ingrained inside of you. It’s like planting a tree. You need to nurture it consistently for a period of time until it’s roots grow and it can take care of itself. Dropping off anytime before and the tree will die.
30 day challenges are talked about in the community, but in my experience that’s not enough time to make a habit out of going out and approaching women. This ain’t like trying to get yourself to exercise regularly. In my opinion, that’s child’s play compared to this. Getting your lazy ass out of the house and pushing all your fears aside to walk up and cold approach a woman is one of the most mentally challenging things a guy can do. That’s why developing this into a habit takes time.
The first thirty days of the challenge are the toughest, both mentally and physically. Getting less sleep than you’re accustomed to, physically moving around more than you’re used to and dealing with the emotional stress of approach anxiety each night… These things can wear you down. You need to be strong during this time and push through it.
Showing Up Accounts For 80% of Your Success
It’s important to understand that you don’t need to go out for hours each night. Keeping the “going out streak” alive is what’s most critical during this time. Remember, the reason you’re doing this challenge is to develop the habit of going out and approaching. That’s what’s most important. How you end up doing each night when you’re out is of secondary importance.
Woody Allen once said that “showing up is 80% of success.” This holds so true in this field. By simply showing up to the venue, everything else snowballs from there.
When I was going out, I looked at my day as an accomplishment as long as I got out of the house and got my ass to the venue. There was a point during the challenge where I was suffering from the flu but I didn’t let it stop me from pushing through. I would show up to the venue literally shivering from the chills, stay for about 20 minutes, then head back home. Although I didn’t accomplish much with women during that night, it kept the streak alive. This forced me to keep going out, which eventually lead to HUGE nights of success I wouldn’t otherwise had.
I like to think of the 100 day challenge like climbing a hill to go sledding. Think of the first 30 days as you would the climbing the hill part. You’re tired, you’re sleepy, you’re scared of talking to women and everything inside of you is telling to stay in. It ain’t easy.
However, once you’ve climbed your way to the top, the next 70 days is like sledding down the hill. It’s so unbelievably easy and fun from there on out. Instead of dreading going out, it becomes the best part of your day. Instead of suffering from approach anxiety, you eventually become an approach machine. You start becoming more confident, funnier, cooler to be around and most importantly, women begin picking up on this.
You vs. Yourself.
During this time, you’re basically throwing yourself into the fire out of nowhere. Since this is the case, you’re mind is going to resist the new reality you placed it in. It will play tricks on you during the challenge, finding any excuse it can get it’s hands on for you to stop…
This is stupid, I’m not getting any better with women…
Taking one day off won’t do any harm…
If I don’t go out today, I’ll just do double the approaches tomorrow…
Once you stop, your mind will backwards-rationalize why it’s okay that you did. One day of staying in leads to two, then to three, then as soon as you know it you’ve fallen off the wagon.
Don’t listen to your mind, just do what you need to do. Again, just get through the first 30 days and everything will take care of itself from there.
Here’s what so great about the 100 day challenge: you start building up momentum like you would not believe.
You know when you’re out and the beginning of your night kind of sucks? You’ve got approach anxiety, you’re not completely out of your shell and you’re generally out of state. Then as the night wears on things begin to snowball. After each approach you get more and more confident and women begin to respond more and more positively. By the end of the night you’re the mack daddy of the club.
Think of that as a micro version of the 100 day challenge. Throughout the 100 days, you’re going to build up more and more momentum until things start clicking. After the first few weeks, approach anxiety flights out the window. I’m not saying that it will be fully gone, but after you go out 15 consecutive nights in a row and you get a warm up set or two, approach anxiety is pretty much handled.
Abundance Mentality
You know the whole abundance mentality you always hear preached? You fully understand what this means during the challenge. After going out a month straight and approaching countless women per night, it starts to click that that there is a never ending supply of women in this world. The outcome with one particular woman starts meaning less and less to you since she’s literally one out of the hundreds of other girls you’ve talked to in the last month. Suddenly, you stop caring which as we know, women find incredibly attractive.
The Game Gets Predictable
After interacting with woman after woman, you’ll start to notice patterns. You learn that acting in certain ways results in a predictable positive response out of women. You’ll start understanding that being sexual leads to sex, talking loud leads to women paying attention to you, being decisive leads to women following your lead, and on and on…
When you do these things, and it actually works, you’re mind makes this connection and you’ll begin to do it more and more until these behaviors are fully internalized into your very being. The pimp version of you slowly comes to the surface…
Capitalize On Light Bulb Moments
When it comes to learning the game, it’s all about light bulbs moments of understanding. All the principles on dating and attraction you read about are all true. Being dominant, leading, being sexual… these are the things that get you laid. But when you’re sitting at home reading this stuff, you don’t really know what it actually means.
Light bulb moments are those rare occurrences when you try out a new behavior and see first hand that it actually works. Once this occurs, a window of opportunity opens up to internalize the new behavior.
For example, say you’re having trouble kiss closing. For some odd reason, you can’t bring yourself to pull the trigger whenever an opportunity presents itself. Then one night you’re talking to a girl, things are going really well and you actually sack up and kiss her.
A window of opportunity opens up in your mind to internalize this behavior. The only way to get through that window is doing it again and again as soon as you can. The sooner and the more you step up and kiss girls, the deeper and more solidified your that behavior gets internalized in you.
Say on the other hand, instead that right after you kissed the girl, you stopped going out for months. When this happens, you’re mind won’t have fully internalized this behavior and you’ll continue to be a bitch whenever it comes times to step up.
The 100 day challenge is so powerful because you capitalize on these light bulb moments in the field. Once you try out a new behavior and it works, you’ll further hammer the point home with each and every consecutive night until it’s just a part of who you are. This is why the 100 day challenge leads to permanent and lasting changes in your personality. Through sheer repetition of new behaviors, your slowly transform yourself.
Progress Resembles a Step Ladder
It’s important to understand how your game develops during this time. A common misconception is that with each and every night you’re out, you’re game develops a bit more. This isn’t really the case. In reality, you’ll be sitting on plateaus most of the time. You’re game develops through rare instances of light bulb moments that should you to the next level. Let me explain…
For example, say for the first 20 days of the challenge you have a hard time getting your sets to hook. You approach, say your opener and for some odd reason none of the women seem to greet you positively. You’re sitting on a plateau and dealing with this sticking point for weeks. You make a bit of progress during this time, but for the most part you can’t get past this problem.
Then one day you chill out, smile and approach a group of girls super positive and relaxed. You TRULY nail what it takes to successfully approach and they greet you with open arms. A light bulb moment occurs. You finally got that click inside of you what it takes to hook a set. After that, more and more of the women you approach want you to say and talk to them. You’re now on the next level of your development.
Then say for the next 30 day you open, hook, keep the conversation, but you can’t get yourself to ask for a woman’s number. So you sit on that plateau during this time until one day you sack up and go for it. She gives you her number and you get another light bulb…. Again, you’re game shoots up to the next level.
To help you better understand what I’m talking about, here’s a visual graph of what your progress might look like during this time…
As you can see, your development resembles a step ladder. You’ll sit a sticking point for a stretch of time, get a light bulb, shoot to the next level, then sit on that sticking point for a stretch of time. Very counter-intuitive, but it’s reality.
Everyone’s sticking points and plataeus will be different. For some guys, there’s will be working around last minute resistance after pulling a girl from the bar that night. For others, there’s will simply be how to keep a 5 minute conversation going. Either way, everyone has their own sticking point and is sitting on their own personal plateau.
It’s easy to get frustrated and want to quit when you’re sitting on one. The most important thing for you to do is keep going out, approaching women and working on your sticking point. Right around the corner, you’ll find success and get a light bulb. It’s not a question of “if” this will happen, it’s a matter of “when.”
In reality, you’re only going to experience a handful of light bulbs throughout your journey. However, it’s these rare moments that will make all the difference in the development of your game. I talked about this in a previous article, but you might be only a small personality tweak or light bulb moment away from seeing MASSIVE success with women.
Yeah, this article was a biggie. But it was THAT important so I had to cover it in depth. The 100 Day Challenge was literally the tipping point that personally lead to the sudden and massive success I saw in my own journey. Without it, I don’t think I would have reached the level of success with women I experienced. To sum up…
So if you want to cut the crap and actually start getting women, then do a 100 day challenge. I promise that by the 100th day, you’ll be surprised with the man you’ve turned into.